


Hide and Seek

by HolyGuacomole



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Funny, Gen, One Shot, at least I think so, it ends in crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:28:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyGuacomole/pseuds/HolyGuacomole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin attempts to hide from a determined Princess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide and Seek

**Author's Note:**

> This essentially becomes crack at the ending. You've received fair warning. Invisible cookies to whoever guesses what/who inspired Vivian's blunt proposal.

It was cramped, dark, and smelled faintly of rat-dung, but Merlin didn't care at the moment. The claustrophobic area was better than nothing. His stalker knew where he lived and where he worked-there was NO escape. The manservant had no where else to go. Every footfall, every brush of the wall tapestry (his hiding place), every noise was the Blond Menace!

His breathing was shallow and a cold sweat was running down his neck. The poor boy hadn't left that hidden corner for about an hour, meaning King Prat was most likely adding even more chores to Merlin's already unending list of duties due to his lateness. That was fine, those damn errands wouldn't have been completed even if he lived to be one hundred!

Footsteps suddenly echoed down the hallway, and Merlin tried to cease breathing shallowly. It had been at least three years since the Lady had last visited Camelot, and both Merlin and Arthur were thankful for that blessing. Vivian's coming brought with it the fear that she was still under the love enchantment, but they were pleasantly surprised to find that it had worn off. She even appeared to despise the royal Pendragon and insisted on glaring, as if the spell had been his fault. Olaf seemed absolutely ecstatic about this turn of events, while Arthur was just grateful to be left alone.

The odd part of the visit began an hour before the welcome feast when the neighboring Princess's designated maid suddenly took ill, and Merlin was the only servant she deemed worthy to attend to her. Once they were alone in her chamber's, Vivian revealed she had chosen him because of his "determination to save her virtue." It turns out, the spoiled Lady remembered everything from her last visit to Camelot. Even the magic. Before Merlin had a chance to stutter some sort of excuse or plea, the blond quickly explained she would not reveal his secret, for she didn't comprehend what the bother was with sorcery. Her father held no qualms against it.

The warlock still only felt slightly reassured because she could punish any sort of mistake he made in his servant's duty. Vivian was worse then Arthur when it came to setting menial tasks. Her banquet gowns had to be laid out neatly on every available (clean) surface for inspection, food must be assorted by color (red with red, green with green), all fifteen pairs of her shoes had to be polished within an allotted time frame, brand new linens needed to be brought in because the original spotless sheets had a "horrid" texture (silk compared to Merlin's scratchy blankets), and her bathtub (which was taken all the way from her kingdom) had to be washed.

Merlin had to constantly remind himself that since the Lady was a royal guest and her father's influence with other nobles was of key importance, he had to be the picture of the perfect manservant considering his role as the personal attendant to the King. Apparently, that wasn't enough for the Princess. The ex-farm boy found himself spluttering and shivering from the ice-cold water (as previously requested) that was sliding down his face and making his curly hair cling to his forehead. Do ALL nobles find it an amusing past time to toss liquid at unsuspecting subjects? Vivian had been furious to discover she was drinking from a smudged goblet.

Merlin squinted through streaming water droplets, expecting to see livid blue eyes staring intently at his drenched form, but instead found an inquisitive gaze. The Lady was inspecting his figure and face rather intently, and the more she saw, the more she seemed to be satisfied.

After several minutes of this odd stare-down, Vivian stopped, then proceeded to ask several personal questions. Where did he live? Personal relations? What occupations had his parents' held? What did his job entail? Was he educated? Any musical abilities? Those questions were simply examples of the many inquired over a period of ten minutes. She only wanted short and to the point answers. Once the interrogation ceased (Merlin still wasn't dry), the blond blatantly said, "Your skin is soft for a peasant's," she ran a hand along his cheek, "your eyes are ocean blue like mine, and your bone structure is worthy of envy. I want to bear your children."

"… What?" Said ocean blue eyes blinked, then drastically (comically) resembled that of an owl's as the disguised sorcerer gaped at the clearly insane woman.

"Though you're a simple manservant, I'm positive I can convince my father to let me have you." A serious expression worked it's way onto her face. "Can't you imagine it? With my hair, our eyes, and your flawless cheekbones, our children would be beautiful!"

And thus, the previous happenings explain why the warlock in question was cowering behind Camelot's red drapery.


End file.
